I have had something that has been heavy on my heart lately. Actually, it's been heavy on my heart since I was a young girl, but it's just sort of popped up again as of lately. I'm sure almost everyone who reads this can attest to it. Throughout my life and a lot lately, I have seen a lot of people who's hearts are not right, who look to destroy others, who have done awful things to get ahead in life or for the fun of it, and who are just plain right nasty, being showered with adoration, praise, rewards, and loyalty from people around them, getting anything and everything, and being pretty well off in life. I tried to word that very carefully. My point of view on people is in their hearts, not what they have or what they can do for me, or how good they look. I know a lot of people that have blessed a person with one hand and slapped them in the face with the other. I know people who give to others just to hold it over their heads, and I know people who seek to destroy people's lives, and I know those kinds of people tend to thrive quite efficiently most of the time. I'm just really disheartened by it, because I know so many people who's hearts are so wonderful, who give when they have nothing, who love incredibly, who have so much character, who struggle their whole lives, and have people that will constantly not give them the time of day.
When I was little, I would always be asking God, my mom, my Sunday school teachers, and anyone that would listen "Why do bad people always get everything, and good people get nothing? It makes me think that being good isn't worth it and that by being bad I can get anything I want!" I was then constantly reminded of the many scripture verses that said something along the lines of "Your reward will be in heaven." and to keep being good, or I'd be grounded anyways (lol mom.) But there were times when I honestly thought "screw it, its not worth being good!" Now that I've somewhat grown up, this question has translated into "As long as you can put on a good show, and people think you have lots of money, it doesn't matter about your heart or how you got there." So basically my entire life's teachings hold no merit with a lot of people. I wish so badly more people could understand that it doesn't matter what you can get your hands on before you die, because they mean nothing once your dead. If you have stepped on everyone head to get to the top, there will be no one at your funeral Not that it really matters because you won't be there either, heh. And most importantly, your only reward is a mere 70 or 80 years if your lucky. That goes by SO fast. In the spectrum of the history of the world, 80 years is the blink of an eye. I wish more people understood that their heart is the most important thing in life, and that by serving others, and that having good, honest relationships goes beyond your life and into the generations to come.
The only comfort I get from God on this is that I know that it is not up to me to determine what is "good" and what is "bad". For all I know, something that I think is bad or evil could be God working through someone or something, heck He could even be working on me (He probably is.) He has everything mapped out, and His plan may not make sense to me, but it is perfect. Still, this will continue to make me sad, as I see more people who's hearts are not right, get everything handed to them on a silver spoon. I hope soon, God can help me work through this where I won't care so much about it. Until then, I'll just have to keep track on my own heart, give without wanting anything in return, and trying to make sure I don't hurt anyone else in order to get ahead in life.
Until my next post...
Cheers.
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