Sunday 10 November 2013

Rio's Birth Story.

I've waited far too long to post this, and I NEED to share my incredibly redeeming experience. Again, this is a birth story; if birth, or placentas, or babies gross you out, stop reading now. 

If you have not already read it, I've posted my first birth experience on this blog, the birth of my daughter. It was both one of the most amazing and terrifying experiences I'll probably ever have, PROBABLY.  There is something I should edit about my first birth story, as I have learnt things that I did not know when I wrote it. What I have gained knowledge to is what caused everything to turn into chaos. Because of all the testing I went through to check for accretas during my second pregnancy, the obstetrician I saw during, and then upon my arrival in the delivery room for the second time and speaking with the nurses that were present during my daughter's delivery, I found out exactly what happened the first time around... There was never an accreta. What happened to me, was what's known in the medical world as "overzealous cord traction" meaning that the doctor pulled on the umbilical cord too hard, too soon, and before the placenta even had a chance to detach, therefore pulling my entire uterus out along with it still attached and causing a complete uterine inversion. This is evident in the fact that from the time I gave birth to my daughter, to the time I was in the operating room bleeding out, was exactly 4 minutes (a little bit too soon for many doctors liking). Now, from what I gathered with the delivery nurses is that what happened to me is widely talked about amongst the medical staff of the birthing unit at that hospital, but it's all under hushed whispers. I'm not angry at that doctor. The look on his face after seeing what he had done and the terror and remorse he must have felt was probably an unbearably heavy load on his shoulders. I've forgiven him for lying to me about what happened, possibly in order to save himself a malpractice lawsuit, because in spite of all of that, I'm alive. I cannot be angry because I have a beautiful son, when I came so close to not being able to have any more children at the ripe age of 22. 

But that is not what I want to dwell on, so on to Rio's birth story! 

 I had had so many false alarms nearing the end of my pregnancy. I would have consistent contractions for a few hours, get excited, only to have them stopped abruptly. I was a week overdue and to the point where I thought that it was some cruel joke and that I was going to be pregnant forever. Starting on Friday morning of the 5th, I was having one contraction an hour all day long, but by that point thought nothing of it and went to sleep thinking I would make it to my induction on the following Monday. I woke up around 2am on Saturday morning with bad heartburn, took some Gaviscon and when I went to lay back down in bed I suddenly had a big gush. So I woke up my husband and we headed to the hospital. They admitted us around 3:30am and told us that if contractions didn't start by 8am they would be starting pitocin. Within 4 hours, they had ten ladies come into labour and delivery with waters broken, and it got pretty crazy on the floor. Because I wasn't progressing and had no contractions I was told I would have to wait up to 12 hours to start the pitocin because other women were in active labour. So we waited in my delivery room and I prayed, and prayed. I prayed for God to give me peace, for me to stop worrying and start trusting that he was going to take care of me, and for him to be there with me through it (Like he was going to leave me, right?! lol.) It was during this waiting period that I was introduced to my nurse, whom just so happened to be at my first delivery. The second she saw who I was, she gave me a huge hug and said "you have no idea how good it is to see you with pink in your cheeks and a smile on your face." Over the course of the day I explained to her my anxiety because of what happened the first time, and it was then she decided to tell me just what happened in the delivery room. When she finished telling me everything, instead of being mad or sad, I was relieved. It wasn't just some fluke of nature that could happen again. She assured me I was in "the best medical hands possible" at the hospital and that they would NOT let that happen again. An overwhelming sense of peace came over me. SO. MUCH. RELIEF. 
It was around 3:30pm, once several babies had been delivered that they decided to start pitocin and did an internal check for the first time. I was 3cm dilated 25% effaced, but had a second layer of water to be broken. They broke that layer and began the drip. At first I thought "meh, I could totally handle these" but within an hour and a half the contractions were pretty friggin intense and about 2-3 minutes apart. I had NOT experienced contractions to that degree before. I still remember thinking  "how do women manage to scream during contractions?!" For me the pain was so intense that I could not make a sound come out of my mouth even if I tried. The nurse finally came in to ask when I wanted my epidural and I requested it right away. It was another hour before my epidural was put in, and once it was in, I was in heaven! By 11pm I was ready to push. I remember thinking "OK God, this is it. This is my chance to experience the delivery my daughter and I deserved the first time around. Here we go!" The obstetrician who delivered Rio was amazing, so calm and reassuring, she made a world of difference. Six pushes and 20 minutes later Rio was born, screaming and pink! They placed him on my chest immediately , and he calmed almost instantly. They waited for the cord to stop pulsating, let daddy cut the cord, and then waited more while Rio remained on my chest. I looked at him, and of course in that instant felt an overwhelming amount of unconditional love and devotion for the little being looking up at me. There was a medical student assisting the OB and after Rio was born she looked at her student and said "OK, this is where you step back and let me handle it. There are two grandmas' in this room who are not going to breath until this placenta is delivered." After 10 minutes or so the OB looked at me and said "okay honey, it's detached you can go ahead and give a little push." I would be lying if I said that in that moment I wasn't panicked something was going to go wrong. I took a big breath and thought again, "OK God, here we go." It came out perfectly fine, all in one complete piece without any complications whatsoever. I looked at my son, who was still on my chest waiting to be weighed and measured, all wrinkled and puffy eyed and thought "I came SO close to not being able to have you, to you never being part of this world, and this is how God redeems us"










We are so in love with our son and I'm amazed at how good I felt immediately after the delivery. I kept telling everyone in the days and weeks following it, "So THIS is how your supposed to feel after giving birth?!" It's still no walk in the park, but a TRILLION times better than what I had to go through the first time. I thought going from one child, to two children would be exhausting and overwhelming but it's incredible how much calmer, relaxed and how much easier everything is this time around. I am so greatful to God. He allowed me to experience giving birth a second time, and I have had so much inner healing happen since. 

There is a great quote by Mark Twain, "In my life I’ve experienced many tragedies.  Most of which never really happened." The birth of my daughter was not a tragedy, yet I have spent so much time thinking it was. I mean, I came so close to dieing right? No, it wasn't a tragedy. I didn't die. I'm very much alive. Out of that experience I have the most incredible little 2 year old, and now I get to raise her and her baby brother alongside my husband. I think that's probably the greatest victory one can experience.