If you have not already read it, I've posted my first birth experience on this blog, the birth of my daughter. It was both one of the most amazing and terrifying experiences I'll probably ever have, PROBABLY. There is something I should edit about my first birth story, as I have learnt things that I did not know when I wrote it. What I have gained knowledge to is what caused everything to turn into chaos. Because of all the testing I went through to check for accretas during my second pregnancy, the obstetrician I saw during, and then upon my arrival in the delivery room for the second time and speaking with the nurses that were present during my daughter's delivery, I found out exactly what happened the first time around... There was never an accreta. What happened to me, was what's known in the medical world as "overzealous cord traction" meaning that the doctor pulled on the umbilical cord too hard, too soon, and before the placenta even had a chance to detach, therefore pulling my entire uterus out along with it still attached and causing a complete uterine inversion. This is evident in the fact that from the time I gave birth to my daughter, to the time I was in the operating room bleeding out, was exactly 4 minutes (a little bit too soon for many doctors liking). Now, from what I gathered with the delivery nurses is that what happened to me is widely talked about amongst the medical staff of the birthing unit at that hospital, but it's all under hushed whispers. I'm not angry at that doctor. The look on his face after seeing what he had done and the terror and remorse he must have felt was probably an unbearably heavy load on his shoulders. I've forgiven him for lying to me about what happened, possibly in order to save himself a malpractice lawsuit, because in spite of all of that, I'm alive. I cannot be angry because I have a beautiful son, when I came so close to not being able to have any more children at the ripe age of 22.
But that is not what I want to dwell on, so on to Rio's birth story!
I had had so many false alarms nearing the end of my pregnancy. I would have consistent contractions for a few hours, get excited, only to have them stopped abruptly. I was a week overdue and to the point where I thought that it was some cruel joke and that I was going to be pregnant forever. Starting on Friday morning of the 5th, I was having one contraction an hour all day long, but by that point thought nothing of it and went to sleep thinking I would make it to my induction on the following Monday. I woke up around 2am on
Saturday morning with bad heartburn, took some Gaviscon and when I went to lay
back down in bed I suddenly had a big gush. So I woke up my husband and we headed to the hospital. They
admitted us around 3:30am and told us that if contractions didn't start by 8am
they would be starting pitocin. Within 4 hours, they had ten ladies come into labour and delivery with waters broken, and it got pretty crazy on the floor. Because I wasn't
progressing and had no contractions I was told I would have to wait up to 12
hours to start the pitocin because other women were in active labour. So we waited in my delivery room and I prayed, and prayed. I prayed for God to give me peace, for me to stop worrying and start trusting that he was going to take care of me, and for him to be there with me through it (Like he was going to leave me, right?! lol.) It was during this waiting period that I was introduced to my nurse, whom just so happened to be at my first delivery. The second she saw who I was, she gave me a huge hug and said "you have no idea how good it is to see you with pink in your cheeks and a smile on your face." Over the course of the day I explained to her my anxiety because of what happened the first time, and it was then she decided to tell me just what happened in the delivery room. When she finished telling me everything, instead of being mad or sad, I was relieved. It wasn't just some fluke of nature that could happen again. She assured me I was in "the best medical hands possible" at the hospital and that they would NOT let that happen again. An overwhelming sense of peace came over me. SO. MUCH. RELIEF.
We are so in love with our son and I'm amazed at how good I felt immediately after the delivery. I kept telling everyone in the days and weeks following it, "So THIS is how your supposed to feel after giving birth?!" It's still no walk in the park, but a TRILLION times better than what I had to go through the first time. I thought going from one child, to two children would be exhausting and overwhelming but it's incredible how much calmer, relaxed and how much easier everything is this time around. I am so greatful to God. He allowed me to experience giving birth a second time, and I have had so much inner healing happen since.
There is a great quote by Mark Twain, "In my life I’ve experienced many tragedies. Most of which never really happened." The birth of my daughter was not a tragedy, yet I have spent so much time thinking it was. I mean, I came so close to dieing right? No, it wasn't a tragedy. I didn't die. I'm very much alive. Out of that experience I have the most incredible little 2 year old, and now I get to raise her and her baby brother alongside my husband. I think that's probably the greatest victory one can experience.